I’m changing my thinking; I’m changing my life

In graduate school I solidified my preferred modality of therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).   Yes indeedy, it was logical, it was empirically sound.  It fit me.  I liked it.  Over the years I had a supervisor and some other therapists question it’s efficacy to work with most clients, and I could not for the life of me understand who all would not benefit from the “magic therapy.” I get it now.  Some people need to dig into their feelings more, some people need more psychoanalysis, some people need object-oriented approaches. I am a self-soother, figure-it-out myself.  A Black Woman who, unfortunately, leaned into the Strong Black Woman trope a little too heavy, and now I have a lot of reconditioning to do to be open, vulnerable, ask for help, receive help, ask of others what I want/need from them for me.  Yeah, I got work, but don’t we all.

Anyway, I settled on CBT because it made sense to me.  Recently, after listening to The Secret Jewish Laws of Attraction (don’t judge me, I’m reconditioning and manifesting like the rest of us).  I was reminded for the millionth time, the same thing I preach to my clients: “consciously think about what you are thinking about.” I haven’t been doing that.  I’ve been letting thoughts of my past run my thought life and potentially ruin the future I’m trying to manifest for myself.

I am so grateful for where I am in life right now. By many definitions I am successful, but I keep replaying my past regrets out of a place of fear and maybe even ego.  I don’t “should on myself” anymore, but I do “wish I would have done differently” myself to death.  These thoughts had me stuck, reflecting on it, I think I’ve been stuck in them heavy for a few months now.  I’m committing to breaking them starting today.

There are so many things that I expect to have and so many things that I expect to do.  I’ve been manifesting what I wanted since high school, and took a 10 year detour due to some faulty belief systems.  I’m back on the ball now, and I’m changing my thinking again, so I can vibrate as high as the Heavens.

Published by Counseling With Leslie

Leslie Stevens, M.Ed., LCMHC is a North Carolina and Virginia board-certified licensed professional counselor. She co-owns a successful practice in Carrboro, North Carolina. Leslie specializes in helping adults navigate stress, depression, anxiety, and perfectionism. Additionally, she is a life strategist, spiritual coach, and writer.

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